Many people are characterized by having a strong character and rapid irritability. This way of being is generally associated with a simple way of beingwithout going into more details. However, just as psychology has an explanation for those people who tend to speak loudly, this type of reaction also hides certain forms of interpret reality.
When a person is in a complicated or tense situationone of the most common ways to react is by raising your voice, getting angry or even crying. Although this is a natural mechanism of the brain, the truth is that there are certain people who have a greater tendency to respond in this way. Something that they end up regretting and that could reveal more problems than it seemed at first.
According to Sonia Díaz Rois, a mentor and coach specialized in anger management and conscious communication, these types of reactions It is not due to people’s impulsivenessbut, “many times, we react this way because our brain has been practicing the same response for years“. Therefore, the brain acts automatically when faced with the stimulus, removing the possibility of reacting in another way.
According to the coach, the brain activates this response “before they have the opportunity to choose a different one.”
The origin of anger is usually associated with statements as simple and banal as the way of being or the strong character of people. However, the author of the book, ‘And if I get angry, what?’, explains that it may be due to a defense system that the brain has been training for years. “Many people believe they have a character problem when, In reality, what they have is an overly trained reaction“.
“They have repeated that response for so many years that they have ended up confusing it with their way of being. Their brain activates it before they have a chance to choose a different response.“. Therefore, it is increasingly difficult to correct this type of behavior, since with each anger, this neural circuit is reinforced, making it increasingly difficult to react in another way.
According to Díaz Rois, the key to changing these automatic responses is determine what is the element that causes it. Instead of focusing on acting differently when the brain has already been exposed to a stimulus that leads to said reaction, it is necessary work before this occurs to have the necessary tools to manage it.
The key to correcting this behavior is learning to detect what generates it.
“Many people believe they are reacting to what others do or say when, in reality, They are reacting to their interpretation of what just happened.“he explains. Fortunately, the body always sends signals before expressing an emotion, which is why it is essential to learn to recognize them and become aware of the situation before the reaction is released.
Likewise, there are other factors that can enhance this type of response. One of the most decisive is the family environment in which one has grown up. As numerous studies have shown, childhood is a determining stage in personality development and emotional growth. So, yes parents or guardians tended to get angry quicklyit is possible that your children, when they are older, have learned that this is a normal way of responding.
Due to the complexity of this type of behavior, to understand them in their entirety and redirect them into a healthy responseit is necessary to go to a professional specialized in managing emotions such as anger. As Sonia Díaz Rois concluded: “It is not very useful to focus on the moment of the discussion; what works is train everything that happens before it starts“.