Slide. Choose. Rule out. Dating apps have made love an almost automatic gesture. In a matter of seconds, a person decides if they are interested in another person based on a few photos and a few lines of text. And, in that process, Millions of profiles end up resembling each other: height, hobbies, job, some witty phrase. But there is a problem.
More and more users report fatigue, boredom or indifference. According to different reports from platforms such as Tinder or Bumble, a growing number of those who use these applications admit to feeling exhausted by superficiality and repetition. Globally, 350 million people They use dating apps, but real success, meaningful connections, does not always follow.
In that context, a new study offers an idea as simple as it is counterintuitive: The problem is not who you are, but how you tell it.. The analysis, published in Psychology of Popular Media, is based on an almost obvious, but little applied observation: humans connect through stories.
“We are fascinated by stories, but we write our profiles like shopping lists – explains Gurit Birnbaum, professor of psychology at Reichman University and leader of the study -. It’s not height or ambition that makes someone fall in love, it’s your entire story. But that cannot be felt in a list of points.”
The metaphor is accurate. In many apps, people are presented as products: traits, characteristics, competitive advantages. But the human brain is not designed to fall in love with technical data sheets. To prove it, Birnbaum’s team conducted experiments with almost 600 participants.
The key was simple: show profiles with exactly the same information, but presented in two different ways. In one version, the data appeared as a list: he plays the guitar, he studies economics, he likes to travel. In the other, Those same elements were integrated into a narrative: the guitar as a gift from a grandfather, music as the common thread of his life, travel as a way to explore the world.
The result was consistent in all cases. Narrative profiles generated more empathy. And that empathy, in turn, increased romantic interest. It was not just what was said that mattered, but how the person’s identity was constructed.
The finding has interesting implications. Dating apps function as rapid, almost mechanical filtering systems. But Human attraction does not follow that rhythm. You need context, nuances, little stories that allow you to imagine the other person. When a profile introduces narrative, in the text or even in the photos, it activates something different: the ability to project oneself into the life of the other. Suddenly, he is no longer “someone who travels,” but someone with whom you can imagine a trip.
“By humanizing profiles and fostering a genuine emotional connection, he storytelling counteracts the objectifying nature of apps – adds Birnbaum -. It helps to see others as people, not as products.”
The study then also analyzed images. Neutral photos (posing in a park or on the street) were less effective than those that showed the person in action: playing sports, studying, sharing time with friends.
It is not an aesthetic question, but a narrative one. A portrait is not as strong as a scene. The study does not promise magic formulas or infallible profiles. But it does dismantle a very widespread idea: that optimizing a profile consists of highlighting isolated qualities. Science suggests otherwise.