The loneliness It is one of the most widespread problems among the population of the third age. However, this feeling does not only occur in people who do not have a family environment and close friends. They can already be so perfectly surrounded that, without the presence of a witness of life At your side, they may feel a slight disconnection from the world. According to psychology, this fact can be explained in different ways.
When you reach old age, one of the most important pillars are those friends and family who have been by our side throughout our lives. Whether it is a brother, a cousin or a friend, they act as witnesses of a path whose route has been blurred over the years, creating a unique bond thanks to shared memories. When this witness is no longer in our environment, we tend to feel a feeling of loneliness only comparable to nostalgia.
This relationship, created based on remember key moments in each other’s liveslike the first trip away from the family, the university years or the wedding day, is unique and unrepeatable. The conversations that are created around these memories can be heard by others, but never understood in the same way than those who lived them. Therefore, their presence cannot be replaced by new friendships, since the mere existence of these witnesses already evokes memories of a life that passed and that will not return.
Losing the witnesses of a lifetime can affect people’s identity and feeling of belonging.
The existence of these witness people and their importance has been studied by various researchers and psychologists, discovering that the loss of close ties with family and friends It is one of the risk factors for loneliness in old age. The loss of witnesses becomes, little by little, a loss of your identity that cannot be easily compensated. They can make new friends and strengthen the bond with their family members, but they will not be able to recall anecdotes and discuss them as they did with their witness.
Life witnesses act as an element that reinforces identity and belonging of people, so their absence generates a feeling of loneliness and a great impact on the mental health. According to the PSISE Madrid center and the definition given by Baumeister and Leary, the need to belong is “a fundamental impulse to belong: of form and maintain lasting interpersonal bondspositive and significant”. Therefore, the people with whom we share a large part of our years of life become a symbol of validation, capable of reaffirming who we are and our role in society.
Faced with the loss of that witness capable of corroborating their stories, some people begin to doubt your memory capacity. This doubt is common and does not mean a cognitive deterioration in the person; They simply lack people who can confirm their memories. Therefore, it is important that the immediate environment takes the role of witness and start asking him about his anecdotes, remembering every detail and making him feel like he still has someone to share that piece of his life with. Because, although they cannot be replaced, feel supported and heard It will help reduce loneliness.