Understanding human behavior is one of the most useful and complex knowledge to obtain. Being aware of the trigger for some of the body’s natural responses, such as getting angry quickly, is the key not only to improving emotion management, but also to correcting traits that They can be annoying or disrespectful to others.
Everyone knows someone who, during conversations, tends to interrupt or blurt out their ideas without taking into account what others are saying. This is one of the most common behaviors and, generally, It is usually considered a lack of education. However, usually those who do it do not usually do so with malicious intent.
As explained Sonia Diaz Roisa mentor and coach specialized in anger management and conscious communication, the reason behind this behavior is usually very different. “Most people don’t interrupt because they are rude. They interrupt because their brain is faster than the conversation“. So the problem would be the lack of practice in active listening.
This behavior responds to the brain’s need to anticipate what is going to happen.
The author of the book ‘And if I get angry, what?’, assures that this type of behavior responds to the brain’s need to anticipate everything that happens around it. A skill that “allows us to react quickly when driving“, for example, but that also leads people to try to guess the course of a conversation instead of listening to whoever is speaking at that moment.
Therefore, as with anger, It is a normal reaction of the brain that arises as a result of a stimulus. In this case, let the conversation revolve around a topic that is familiar or that arouses special interest. Likewise, it can occur in dialogues in which one of the parties is communicating a problem or concern and, with the intention of helping or making you feel understoodhe ends up being interrupted.
“We tend to stop listening when we think we already know the answer.when we think we have found a solution or when we feel the need to share our own story,” explains the emotional management expert. Demonstrating that the act of actively listening, even though it may seem simple, This is one of the most difficult self-control exercises.
((H2:Many interrupt to show understanding)
For Sonia Díaz Rois there are five reasons why people tend to interrupt during a conversation. The first reason responds to the brain’s need to anticipate any situation, making it want to guess how the sentence will end or what direction the talk will take. Although it is usually correct, this can cause discomfort or even misunderstandings between the interlocutors.
The second reason occurs when an idea arrives that you don’t want to forget. In this case, the person stops listening to those around him and simply waits for his turn to speak. A wait that, due to the fear of losing the idea, can cause you to become impatient and cut off whoever was speaking at that moment.
The third usually occurs in personal conversations, as there are those who tend to interrupt to demonstrate that they understand who is telling them their concerns. “Many times we interrupt with good intentions. We want the other person to feel understood.” However, this can cause the opposite feeling.
“Many times the person does not need advice, they need to be listened to”, Sonia Díaz Rois
Something similar happens with the fourth reason, because when the dialogue revolves around the problem of one of the participants, there are those who tend to find a solution quickly. “What often happens is that the other person does not need advice. They need to be listened to,” says Díaz Rois.
Finally, the last explanation for this behavior is found in the discomfort generated by silence to some people. In conversations, there are often pauses that, although they are part of the dialogue and communication, are quickly filled by those who find it difficult to tolerate these moments of waiting.
The solution to stop having this type of behavior, generally annoying to the environment, is tolearn to listen actively and have self-control. “Listening to the end is not just about being more polite. It is about give others the opportunity to express what they want to say before assuming that we already know what they are going to say,” explains the mentor and coach.